


I remember well...

by LeoraPhthalo



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (but biologically female), (plus some depressive episodes), Alex has ADHD and PTSD, Alexandra Hamilton: Fem!Hamilton, Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Hera Mulligan: Fem!Mulligan, Johnna Laurens: Fem!Laurens, Lafayette's name has not changed, Modern AU, Multi, Nina Rosario name drop XD, Other, Panic Attacks, Polyamorous relationship, Underage Drinking, adoption au, except the older generation, genderbent au, like George and Martha Washington, most characters have been genderbent, non-binary Lafayette, the Hamilsquad are all roughly 16
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-10-12 08:09:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10486185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoraPhthalo/pseuds/LeoraPhthalo
Summary: Alexandra Hamilton has been given the chance of a lifetime and she feels like she has already gone and messed it up. Too scatterbrained, too dramatic, too much of a nervous wreck, she can't believe that the Washingtons have not kicked her out yet.After all the horror stories she had heard of children being fostered into abusive homes, and a past that won't stop haunting her, Alex struggles to settle down in her new home with the Washingtons until Lafayette, her eccentric foster sibling, takes her out to meet their friends.Maybe, just maybe, it might end up okay in the end...





	1. The Email

**Author's Note:**

> So, I should be revising for my exams which are coming up in May, but here I am starting yet ANOTHER fanfic. This is my first Hamilton fanfic, which I have been trying to restrain myself from writing because I should be revising, and I'm not, but here I am, with a chapter in the bag and the intent to write more soon. Although, probably not veryyyy soon, because I need to pass these exams and all my other fics are on haitus for that very reason...
> 
> This is a modern, genderbent, adoption AU. I've seen some genderbent stuff out there in the AO3 Hamilton Feed, but not enough and ever since aizy-boy started making their genderbent animatics for Hamilton, I've desperately wanted to read more fem!Hamilsquad and consequently, I have made a story.  
> I still don't know why I left Martha and George in their original genders, but yanno... Go with it. I don't plan to genderbend Ham's momma either. Rule of thumb: older generation stays as original, younger Hamsquad gen is flipped.  
> Except Lafayette, of course, who I'm making non-binary, but they are biologically female in my head for this fic.
> 
> Another note for you wonderful people: I do not have ADHD, PTSD or depression, nor am I qualified to diagnose any of these mental disorders. I just felt like Hamilton in real life (or at least how he is depicted in the musical) probably did have ADHD, noting that he appears to have impulsive behaviours (like stealing British cannons, getting into multiple disputes which could have been prevented if he didn't have such a temper, the Reynolds' Pamphlet, yanno, that sort of stuff), hyperactivity and hyperfocus (I'm sorry, but I doubt anyone could write as much as he did unless they are able to hyperfocus) and other ADHD traits.  
> I have done some research on all these disorders; my psychology syllabus covered PTSD and MDD (well, Alex doesn't have MDD, but she does have her low moments because of the PTSD... Let's say she has mild depression due to comorbidity...) and I watched a bunch of youtube videos by this girl who has ADHD (her channel is How To ADHD if you guys are interested).  
> Okay, this got terribly long. TL;DR- I've tried to research as much as I can, but I will probably still get shit wrong. If I do, tell me and I'll fix it.
> 
> Thank you! Enjoy XD

It had taken several months of waiting for the referral to finally come through. The Washington’s had never had to wait this long before to be referred to a child, but were relieved when the email finally came one Tuesday evening, informing them that Alexandra Hamilton, who was currently at a care home in Brooklyn, NYC, was available for fostering, with the potential for adoption.

“How old is she?” Martha Washington leant on her husband’s shoulders to peer at the computer screen.

George pulled up the pdf file which had been sent with the email, containing information concerning the girl. “Says here she is sixteen, but the birth certification isn’t the original. They had to reissue it when she was found two years ago.” There was a small pixelated photo of her face, looking sullen with dark matted locks of hair framing her thin face.“I hope the reason she looks like that is because they haven’t got round to updating her photo.”

“Me too. Poor girl.” George scrolled down. “It doesn’t have much on her life prior to entering the care system, but it says here she has ADHD, combined with PTSD and has depressive episodes.”

Martha winced, moving to sit in his lap. “She is going to need a lot of support. I hope we can do this, George. I know we said we would take on a more difficult case this time round, but are you sure we won’t mess it up for her?” She chewed at her lip, worry creasing her brow.

Her husband placed a gentle kiss to her temple. “We can totally do it. It might not always be a walk in the park, and we certainly shouldn’t expect it to be, but one thing is for sure. It will be worth it.” George gave her a small smile. “We have the money to get her therapy and we both work from home for the most part, so she won’t be left to fend for herself. We are capable of giving her everything she needs to get her off the ground. I mean, the reason we cut back on our hours was so that we could be at home to support whoever we adopted. The worst thing we could do now is give up. We’ve got this far in the process. We told them we were willing to take on a more difficult case, which is probably why it has taken a lot longer for us to get referred.”

Martha sighed. “I know. I don’t want to give up on her at all. I mean, we don’t even know her, really, but I just want to have her save with us. Do you know when can we meet her?”

“Uh…” George reached round her and clicked back to the email. “We need to email her social worker to confirm, but they are suggesting Saturday.” He turned back to look at her. “Shall I say yes?”

She shifted in his arms to fix him with a look.

“It wouldn’t make sense to throw away her shot now, would it?”

George grinned.

* * *

 

Manuela blinked at the email. She certainly hadn’t been expecting Alex, of all the children in her care, to be the one with a potential couple seeking to foster her.

 _From:_ georgewashington75@gmail.com , _mdandridge.washington@gmail.com_  
_To: manuelasanchez01@nycbrooklynservices.com_

 _Sent 02/22 at 10:44pm_  
_Dear Manuela Sanchez_

_We are delighted to have received an email that has referred us to one of the children in your care, Alexandra Hamilton. We have been informed that we can visit your care home on Saturday the 26th of February so that we can meet her and yourself to discuss fostering Alexandra. We are free on this day and we were emailing to confirm a time of arrival._

_Attached to the email are our papers confirming that we are allowed to foster children and the relevant references. We are also forwarding the email of our referral to Alexandra._

_We look forward to your response and to hopefully meeting you and Alexandra on Saturday._

_Many thanks,_  
_George and Martha Washington_

She opened the attachments, scanning through the documentation. She then went on a database search.

They certainly looked like they were real people who were truly interested in fostering. Manuela was relieved to find more information in the database, stating that they had previously fostered and had adopted one child who was currently in their care.

It took her about an hour to piece together a file on the couple, bundling the wad of papers together into an empty binder.

She then called in Alex.

“You wanted to see me?”

Manuela looked up to see the small girl stood awkwardly in the doorway a smile. “Yeah. I’ve got some news for you.”

Alex furrowed her brows and shuffled in, fidgeting with the hem of her T-shirt as she always did. It was times like this that she forgot that she was sixteen, not a scared ten year old fresh in the system.

“So,” she started, trying to look Alex in the eyes and failing. The girl didn’t glance up once. “I got an email from a couple who are interested in fostering. They have been referred to you.”

She still looked confused. “What does that mean?”

“It means that you might get fostered if you want to be.”

There was a long pause. The girl continued to bounce her knee. Manuela ignored it.

“How much will they need to know about me?” she finally mumbled. “How much do they already know?”

Manuela sighed. This was obviously what Alex was going to be worried about, of all things. “Well, they need to know that you have ADHD and other medical issues because they’ll be in charge of making sure you are taking your meds and going to therapy. Plus, it means that they know to expect panic attacks or other problems and they can prepare for them, just like your school does.”

Alex looked down and began to crack her knuckles. “Right.”

“But, they don’t get to see your entire file. So they won’t know much more than that. I probably need to say that you lost your mother and that your father whereabouts are unknown, but that’s only because they might become interested in adopting you as well and they need to know you are available for adoption, unlike other children in the system.”

“But what about… you know…”

“They don’t need to know anything more, unless you want to tell them.”

“Not even to explain why I’m so messed up?”

“Not at all. They only need to know the things that we do to help you. They get a file with everything they need to know about you, but it won’t be your full case file. I will be the only one to have access to that until you are eighteen, unless you get assigned a new social worker before you become a legal adult, but that is very unlikely to happen. I’m not planning on leaving this job any time soon.” She grinned. “Too many kids depend on me being the only one that knows all their secrets.”

Alex breathed a sigh and the bounce in her leg lessened slightly. “That’s good.”

Manuela smiled. “I think you have one heck of an opportunity to leave this place forever, you know? I hardly ever find a couple interested in caring for a teenager. Most people like to pretend that the kid is theirs.”

“I know.”

“I think you should go for it.”

The girl finally met her eyes for the first time, dark and determined. “I think I should too.”


	2. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here I am with another chapter! AYYYYY!
> 
> I am trying to stick to a schedule of posting every Tuesday. It might not work, but we shall see. A little reminder that my exams (very important exams that will probably dictate whether or not I get to university) start on the 3rd May and finish on the 17th May. Hopefully, I will still be able to update during this period as I am trying to write a few chapters in advance so that I am not writing during this period, but if I forget to post, I am sorry! The most likely day for me to forget to update will be the 16th May, as I have a Physics and Spanish Exam that day DX. I will try and stick to the schedule anyway.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Alex sat on her bed, clutching the file, carefully sifting through the only information she had about George and Martha Washington. There was barely anything there; Martha was forty-one years old, turning forty-two in June. George had only just turned forty-one. Both were politicians (Democrats, fortunately). Together, they had fostered six children over the past fifteen years and had adopted one child, who was still living with them. They had passed all their inspections and were deemed to be very good foster parents.

She committed all the information to memory, wishing she knew a bit more about them. Obviously, it would all be down to her and whether she wanted to join the family in the end. There were only some circumstances where children would be forced into foster care, usually if the care home struggled to take care of them because they misbehaved. She had seen children return from foster care with bruises all around their eyes. Manuela would look at them with pity, but couldn't protest when they were taken away again by some other person in it for the money. She was just a social worker, not the head of the home and didn't dare say anything to her superiors.

Alex understood. If Manuela got fired, she would be replaced with some other person who didn't give a shit about anyone in her care and Alex would be shipped off to some home immediately. The only reason she hadn't been fostered before was because her social worker, someone she didn't really deserve, ran thorough checks on each family. Any sign of abuse and she would turn the couple down.

Alex had no idea how she got away with it, but then again, none of the children she was assigned to were ever badly behaved to the point of them being a threat to the other children in the care home. Somehow, it had all worked out.

Now here she was, with a couple that Manuela trusted enough to approach Alex with the idea of being fostered.

She wasn't really sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, she was desperate to leave the care home; progressing from childhood, where she had been given a fair amount of autonomy by her mother, to adulthood, where her every step was monitored, it was driving her insane. All she wanted was to be able to run her blogs without having to deal with the internet curfew, go to the protests she read about.

She wanted to feel _normal._

Then again, the rings of bruises were scarred in her mind. What if Manuela made a mistake? What if the Washingtons were just after government money? What if they hated her or she hated them when she met them? Or worse, the adopted child didn't get on with her and they decided to take her back because they didn't get on?

She could feel her mind spiralling into panic. She quickly closed the folder and tidied it under the bed and lay back, resting her hands on her chest and belly, practising abdominal breathing as her therapist taught her to try and calm down.

It would be okay. All that was going to happen was a small meeting with the Washingtons. She still had time to decide.

* * *

The pair sat opposite her in the office and Alex was freaking out. All she could think about was the last time a couple had shown an interest in adopting her.

It had been a few years ago, only a few months after she had been placed in the care home at the age of fourteen. They had smiled and chatted, but ultimately ended up adopting another child a few years younger and cuter and less sullen than Alex. After that, she came to terms with the fact that she was going to be stuck in the system until adulthood; nobody wanted to adopt a teenager, particularly if they knew how messed up she was.

Yet, here she was, sat in front of the Washingtons, her social worker perched a short distance away from the desk so as not to intrude, but somehow being more of a distraction. Alex kept turning to glance back at her, which earned her a stern look to remind her to focus on the meeting.

"So, you are Alexandra Hamilton," Mrs Washington said with a beaming smile, cheery and warm, reminiscent of summertime as a child when life was simple and easy.

"Just Alex." She fought against the urge to start babbling at them, her leg bouncing up and down in agitation.

"Alex." The older woman tested the name. "My name is Martha Washington and this is my husband, George."

"Hello, ma'am. Sir."

"Oh, please, just call us George and Martha."

"We are very pleased to meet you, Alex," George added. His voice was warm and melodious, the sort of tone that would bring an air of tranquility to a room, but it somehow failed to work its charm on Alex; she deflected George's serenity with her disquiet.

"Uh, nice to meet you too."

There was an awkward pause. Manuela stepped in.

"Alex, how about you tell George and Martha what you like to do for fun."

"I…" She trailed off, unsure what to say. She inhaled, trying to calm her mind and focus. "I like to write I suppose," she finally mumbled.

"About anything specific?" Martha prompted.

She shrugged. "I like writing about politics. Either that or on activism."

They nodded encouragingly, George leaning forwards with enthusiasm. "That's great!" he said. "You might already know that Martha and I are politicians. Although we've started working part-time now."

She nodded.

Manuela shuffled over with her chair. "Alright, Alex. Now, I'm sure you are aware that the Washingtons have fostered six children in their time and currently have one adopted child. They have a pretty amazing record actually."

The couple smiled proudly, George clasping Martha's hand tighter.

"Five of the six children stayed with them up until adulthood. You've been reported to have 'a safe and welcoming home'." Manuela looked up from her notes to smile at the Washingtons and turned to Alex. "Like I said before, I think if you are going to be assigned to anyone, this is a great home to go to, Alex."

Alex nodded. "I've been thinking about it since you told me about them."

"Have you made your decision?"

She took another deep breath. "I think so."

Her social worker gestured for her to continue. She steeled herself.

"Manuela said that she had a good feeling about you," she started, her eyes remaining downcast. "And, I just want you to know that I do too and I would like to come live with you, if that is okay."

They beamed. "We would like that a lot," George said, the happiness evident in his voice.

It certainly didn't feel wrong. _In fact,_ thought Alex, _it actually felt pretty good._

* * *

Alex went to go and pack her things into a bag as the Washingtons and Manuela signed off the documentation that Alex was not quite old enough to sign herself. All of her belongings were able to fit easily into the small rucksack Manuela had given her at the foot of the stairs; she only had three outfits, plus sweatpants and a vest top that she wore to bed, a few changes of underwear and a small collection of notebooks that she had somehow managed to keep hold of since her mother's death. Her plain pencil case was thrown in as well, even though it wasn't really hers. The home had a bunch of pencil cases that they would issue to each child so they had stationary for school; each had a scientific calculator, a bunch of pens and pencils, an eraser and a ruler.

_They won't miss one used case,_ she justified to herself.

Finally, she lifted a floorboard under her bed and pulled out the jar of money that she had been meticulously saving over the years. Occasionally, the care home would gift the children some money if they had some extra from the government or given by a private donor. Most kids spent it immediately, but Alex hoarded it carefully. She also had some excess from before she went into the foster system. It all totted up to exactly two hundred and twelve dollars and forty-three cents. Not masses, but enough in case she needed to make a run for it to get by for a few days.

With everything gathered together, she took a final look at her room, the one she had lived in for the past two years. She felt as if she ought to be sad to see it go, but there hadn't been much tying her down to the place; when Alex thought of home, her thoughts went to the little house she shared with her mother back in Nevis that no longer existed. Nowhere else had come close to being considered home. Now that she had removed her few possessions, the tiny room looked like it had barely been lived in.

She turned to run downstairs without giving the bare room a backwards glance.

The Washingtons were waiting in the reception for her, grins stuck on their faces. Manuela moved forward and stuck out a hand.

"I hope I don't have to see you again for a while, kiddo. No offence."

Alex managed a laugh. "Ditto. Thanks, Manuela." She shook her hand firmly. "You've been great."

"I've tried. You've been great too."

She walked out of the care home for what she hoped would be the very last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone comes and complains to me about the way I have portrayed the fostering process in this fic, I would just like to flag up that I am from the UK and have never been fostered. I only knew someone when I was younger who was living in a foster home, but I was still quite young so I didn't really ask her about it. I tried to search online about how it works, but so far, all I have to go on are other people's fanfiction and the horror stories of kids being put in abusive homes. I know that the adoption process is much harder to go through and people go to court because of it sometimes. So, just roll with it and know that Manuela is an utter babe and is ready to bend all the rules in order to make sure her children are safe.
> 
> Chapter 3 introduces Lafayette. Meet them on Tuesday!
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you like it, favourite, leave a review, tell me what to do to improve if you still aren't sure! I love feedback more than anything else XD
> 
> ~Leo


	3. The Sibling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, guys! I present to you chapter three :)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: I haven't been very good at doing trigger warnings so far, but I describe a panic attack at the beginning of this chapter.
> 
> ENJOY!

"… and I was thinking you could get the room that is overlooking the garden. It gets lots of sun and…"

The words were beginning to blur together. Alex smiled politely at Martha, who continued to talk about their house and her room and the area where they lived and at this point she was feeling very lost.

"Um, Martha?" she interrupted with a wince, worried that she would get annoyed.

"Yes, dear?"

"I… I'm feeling a bit odd."

Her brow furrowed, but she didn't look annoyed. "Are you car sick?"

Alex shook her head. "I don't think so." Everything was feeling overwhelming and she just wanted to curl up in silence for a bit. "I think… Can we stop a moment?"

George looked back at her quickly. "Uh, sure. Can you wait until the next gas station?"

"How far?"

"A few miles, about five, ten minutes away."

Alex breathed carefully, trying to maintain steady breaths. "Sure."

"Is there anything else I can do?" Martha asked.

Alex shook her head. "I just need a moment…"

* * *

The second that George pulled up to an empty gas station, Alex was out of the car, practically running to sit behind it. Martha gave George a worried look.

"I'll fill up the car, you talk to her."

She nodded.

Alex was huddled up in a small ball, pressed up against the dusty rear bumper. Martha knelt down next to her, careful not to touch her.

"Alex, hun, are you okay?"

The girl almost imperceptibly shook her head. She could see the slight trembling in her movements, the rasp of her uneven breathing.

"Do you need anything?"

No words.

Martha heard George finish filling up the car. "Martha, is she okay?"

Martha looked up. "I'm pretty sure she is having a panic attack."

He took a sharp breath. "Uh… Can you handle it or do you think you'll need my help?"

"Go pay. I'll be fine."

He nodded, reluctantly leaving. Martha moved from her crouch to sit cross legged in front of Alex again.

"Alex? Can you do me a favour and do some breathing with me?" She took an exaggerated breath, loudly and clearly. "Breath in…" Alex managed to take in a gulping breath. Not great, but it would get better. "… and out." That was more controlled. By the time George made his way back to the car, Alex was standing, still looking white, but no longer shivering.

"Feel better now?" she asked, George hovering protectively at her shoulder.

"A little."

"Do you want to take a moment? We still have a little while on the road before we get home."

"Please."

* * *

Alex had not been this happy at the thought of eating food in a long time. She had given Martha a shock when she inadvertently mentioned that she hadn't eaten for over a day.

"Why not? Did the care home not feed you?"

"No, they did," she was quick to reassure through a mouthful of buttered bread and ham. "I just sometimes forget to go down and eat or get food. I was in a writing mood yesterday, which meant that I was holed up in my room, blocking out the world and writing for hours. I probably missed the meals and the carers forgot to bring me up something, which is fair enough. There are a lot of kids to keep an eye on and because I am a teenager, they expect me to keep on top of how much I am eating. If I was one of the younger kids, I would have been forced downstairs."

They still looked worried. "I wish I'd brought more food," Martha lamented, rummaging around the day bag. She pulled out a bag of salted potato chips and passed them back to her. "I'll text Lafayette and get them to start on dinner so that it is ready when we arrive."

Alex tried to protest. "Honestly, I'll be fine until tomorrow."

George frowned. "Just because you are able to go without food for long periods of time doesn't mean you should, Alex."

Alex withered somewhat under his stern glance, curling up slightly in her seat, casting her eyes down towards her lap. "Okay," she murmured, unsure what to say. She hadn't wanted to disappoint the Washingtons, but she now felt like she had.

"Hey!" George was giving her a worried look. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. We just want you to be eating enough."

"It's okay."

He didn't seem convinced, but dropped the subject. "Alright. Are you ready to go? We should probably get back before it gets too late. Laf might worry."

She nodded.

* * *

The rest of the journey was uneventful. Alex spent most of it sleeping; she hadn't slept much the previous night because she had been writing a few articles, ready to type up, for her online blogs and by the time she realised how late it was, it was almost dawn. She had only managed to sleep for two hours, missing breakfast because she overslept and then the Washingtons had arrived and it had all been rather busy.

She woke up as George switched off the car engine, the last few rays of sunlight tinting the horizon purple and red, a pretty, late winter sky. She glanced at the clock. 5:30pm.

"We're here," Martha said, giving her a poke to make sure she was awake. "Welcome to Vernon House."

The white house was what Alex would classify as "pretty damn big"; whilst it paled in comparison to some of the neighbouring houses, which had drastic extensions as well as the original, it was much larger than any house Alex had previously called home.

What really stunned her was the surprising amount of plants and trees that surrounded the house. Her experience was that houses tended to be surrounded by concrete with no greenery in the close vicinity. Plants stayed in parks or sprawled across abandoned land.

Alex followed the couple to the door, trying not to gawk too much, but knowing she was failing miserably. The Washingtons didn't seem too fussed, letting her take in the new environment.

"Who planted the trees near the houses?" she finally asked as she caught up with them at the front door.

Martha grinned. "We got someone to deliver some fruit trees and they planted the little grove. They are gorgeous when the spring comes round. You'll see all the different blossoms."

George had only just got the door open when a bundle of curls flew past, startling the three of them.

"Lafayette!" Martha scolded, as Alex leapt back in fright. "You can't just pounce on someone like that. Not everyone is used to or likes being jumped at."

The kid, Lafayette, gave a nervous grin. "Sorry, Martha."

Now that they had stopped moving, Alex took in the kid's appearance. They had long hair pulled back into a ponytail, kind dark eyes and a toothy, Cheshire grin.

They stuck out a hand. "Bonjour! I am Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, but mes amies call me Lafayette or Laf. They-them pronouns. I am very pleased to meet you, Alexandra Hamilton."

"Alex." She shook the hand carefully. "She-her."

Laf grinned even more, although how that was even possible, Alex would never know. "I'm grateful that you are aware of non-binary individuals. That usually takes more explaining. There is some beef bourguignon on the hob that is nearly ready to serve, si vous voulez."

"Thanks, that sounds amazing, Laf," George said, pulling them into a hug. "Would you be able to show Alex to her room so she can settle in?"

"Bien sûr! Alex, allez!"

"D'accord."

Laf whipped around. "You can speak French! Ma sœur! We shall be good friends."

She flushed. "I learnt when I was little. I also learnt Spanish."

"That is quite a talent. I learnt English only when George and Martha took me in, so it was an interesting couple of months where we could barely communicate. They got me lessons and in turn they tried to… er, how would you say… 'brush up' on their français. Naturally, I improved first."

They kept chatting all the way up the stairs, leading Alex down the corridor to the left. They stopped in front of the third door down. "This is your room," they announced. "My room is just two doors down, the first one we passed and there is an ensuite bathroom that you will only have to share if the Washingtons throw a house party, which they sometimes do on occasion, but they probably won't anytime soon."

"Wait, what about the second door?"

"Oh that? It's an airing cupboard which has towels that you can use." They flung open the door.

The room was larger than anything Alex had ever seen. The small box room she'd been given at the care home was somewhat of a luxury; most of the children had to share with at least one other person, but Alex's nightmares had been so disruptive that they had given her a small room to herself so she wouldn't wake the others up.

This room, on the other hand, made what she had been given look pitiful. It still had a residual smell of paint, so it had obviously been recently decorated. The furniture also looked relatively new; the wardrobe towered over the room and a bookcase covered one entire wall. The bed was pushed up under the window, leaving plenty of floor space, and there was a desk right next to it with a comfortable chair. The remaining wall space was filled with canvases of various paintings in varying styles.

Alex couldn't help but gape.

"Do you like it?" Lafayette asked, looking a little nervous for the first time since they answered the door. "I helped George and Martha refurbish the room. I got the sheets and the curtains because they matched and I thought they were a nice colour."

They were a nice colour— a light green that didn't make the room look too dark.

They rambled on. "We also decided to paint the room blanc, otherwise it would make the paintings look a bit strange."

Alex gave them a reassuring smile. "It's perfect. I really like the paintings."

"Oh! Bien!" They looked pleased. "I made some of the paintings. My friend, Johnna, made the others. We enjoy it, and we wanted to make the room look more homely because it looked really bare without them. So we spent a few days together at my girlfriend's workshop painting some stuff to fill up the room."

"Thank you."

There was an awkward pause. "Well," Laf continued, "I shall leave you to settle in. I'll come and get you when dinner is on the table. You do like beef bourguignon, right? You're not vegetarian or anything?"

"No."

"Alright. Well, I'll come back in a bit. Feel free to read any of the books on the shelves if you are interested." They waved and closed the door.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. She went and sat on the bed, the green patterns pleasant and soothing. She pulled out her notebooks and placed the on the desk neatly, her pencil case perched neatly on top. She didn't bother unpacking and hanging her clothes up in the wardrobe, knowing it would hardly be worth it. She just placed the rucksack on the lower shelf and closed the bare wardrobe.

In the time it had taken for her to settle in, the sun had finally passed below the horizon, leaving behind the night. Darkness pressed against the window; there were no lights outside, just pitch black.

Alex shivered and quickly shut the curtains. She had never liked the dark. She turned the desk lamp on, its yellow glow comforting, much nicer than the harsh LEDs that were arranged neatly across the ceiling. She turned the main lights off and flopped down into bed, relaxing for the first time in what felt like months.

It didn't take long to succumb to her drowsiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is such a babe, I love them to bits.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has favourited and followed this story, and a massive thank you to the two beautiful reviewers :)
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think of the story! Constructive criticism is appreciated.
> 
> Also, if there are any triggers that you want me to warn people about at the beginning of the chapter like I did with panic attacks, please PM me and I'll make sure to add it when necessary. I will do my best to warn you guys at the beginning of every chapter for things that are common triggers, although I won't be putting in-text warnings... Sorry :|
> 
> Come back on the 18th April for the next chapter :)
> 
> ~Leo


	4. Food and Feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> This is my shortest chapter, I believe, other than the first chapter (maybe) so I felt like I ought to explain why I didn't change Lafayette's full name in any way. When I was writing the last chapter, I figured that Laf would be the sort of person who would give themself the longest and most extravagant name they could without a fuck to give. When they were little, they had a really feminine set of names that they got bored of and changed as soon as they told the Washingtons to the more masculine names as a change, keeping their last name (which they had previously told friends to call them by before they came out as non-binary).
> 
> Also, to those who have been watching the tags change drastically since I first posted this, I have been changing the pairings that are going to turn up XD Sorry! I was initially just going to have Lams and Mullette, but I've been working on some of the later chapters and decided to ultimately go with Elams as a polyamorous relationship. It will all make sense as I release more chapters.
> 
> I'm sorry if you were reading this to get your fill of Lams XD I've never really been set on a particular pairing in this fandom, unlike other some of my other fandoms, so it was kind of to be expected that I would flip around on the pairings.
> 
> Also, I ended up accidently tagging this fic as having George Washington/Alexander Hamilton at one point and I am very sorry... Apparently, that pairing is more popular than G. Wash and M. Wash, soooooo yeah... Not in this fic... Maybe a different one XD
> 
> Alright, enjoy the chapter XD

“Alex? Alex?”

The small girl refused to wake up. Laf frowned.

“Alex?” They nudged the girl gently. “It’s dinner time.”

She simply rolled over, still sleeping.

“Alex, please get up.” They nudged her more roughly, not really wanting to startle her. “It’s time to eat!”

Finally, her eyes screwed up as if to wake. Lafayette sat back on their heels just in time before Alex sat up sharply, breathing laboured.

“Ne t'inquiète pas! You are in your room at the Washington’s house. I had to wake you up for dinner.”

“Where?”

“At Vernon House. George and Martha brought you home from the care home in Brooklyn an hour ago.”

“Right.” She still looked disorientated, but she was less panicked.

“I’m sorry that I startled you, but you weren’t really waking up.”

“S’okay,” Alex mumbled, slipping out of bed. “Where are we eating?”

Laf stood up. “I’ll show you. It’s easy to get lost in this house.”

“Thanks.” She slipped off the bed and Laf lead her downstairs to the dining room.

“I’ll give you a proper tour of the house after dinner if you are up for it,” they offered. “But, if you are tired, we can do that tomorrow.”

“After dinner is fine. The nap helped and I don’t usually need a lot of sleep anyway.”

Laf frowned. There was something off about Alex. Not in a bad way, but it was beginning to worry them. It was possible George and Martha already knew what was wrong and they would tell them in due course, or Alex was keeping something from them. Not that Laf expected Alex to have relayed her entire life story to them, but they still felt like there was something that they were missing out on. 

And the little unnerving comment about her apparent insomnia was not really helping them feel any more reassured.

George and Martha were already sat at the table, all the plates filled with the beef stew and roasted potatoes that they had been cooking all afternoon.

“I hope you are hungry, because Laf made a lot of food,” Martha said.

Laf went to sit down, noticing that Alex was hesitant to do so first, as if they would get annoyed at her if she sat in the wrong seat. They didn’t comment, not wanting to embarrass her in any way, but indicated for her to sit beside them.

“Thank you,” Alex mumbled.

“Pas de problème.”

There was silence for a short while as they all started eating, simply enjoying the glorious taste of the tender beef. Laf could feel the table wobble slightly as Alex started bouncing her knee. None of them commented; it wasn’t really bothering them much.

“So, Alex,” Martha said, looking up at the girl sat opposite her. “Would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself? We don’t really know much about you, other than what the file told us, which wasn’t much.”

Laf could feel her freeze up next to them, panic evident from her posture alone.

“I—”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Martha was quick to reassure. “I’m just nosy and I like to know about people.”

“No, it’s okay. I, umm…” Alex pushed the meat on her plate around. “I’m from Nevis, one of the Caribbean islands. No one really knows about it, but umm…”

“Did you like it there?”

“I suppose. I miss it. It’s the place I think of when I think about home. Anyway, I lived there with my mother until she… umm… died…” She trailed off. “Then I lived with a cousin. For some reason, a lot of people thought I deserved a shot at getting to the US because there aren’t any universities on the island and I was doing really well in school. My teachers sorted out my immigration papers, got me a visa, a plane ticket, everything. They registered for me to go to school in New York City, a state school, but it had a good reputation and they couldn’t quite get me a scholarship because I was still quite young. They gave me everything I needed, including finding me a place to stay. One of them said they had family in New York and they were happy to have me. So I went.”

She was on a roll and no one really wanted to break the flow, too engrossed in Alex’s story.

“I arrived in New York, expecting the family to be there. They might have been there for all I know. I was about thirteen. I—“ She suddenly stopped talking and just like that the spell she had them under was broken. “Can I stop now?”

George came to his senses first and nodded. “Of course. You tell what you want in your own time.”

Alex had tears shining in her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

They were quiet again as they polished off the now cold food. Alex had barely touched her own, but before Laf could say anything about it, they were gently prompted to start clearing the table by Martha. “We’ll be in the living room with Alex. When you are done, you can give her a proper tour of the house, how about that?”

“Sure.” Laf didn’t protest to being excluded. They were probably going to give Alex a run down of the house rules and make sure she was okay. They picked up the plate of barely eaten food, feeling a pang of guilt when they realised it was going to have to go in the bin. They didn’t like to waste food, but there wasn’t much that could be done about it. They would just have to suck it up for a bit.

* * *

George and Martha lead her through to a well lit room that was just slightly too big to be defined as cosy.

“Come and sit down, Alex,” Martha gestured to one of the sofas. “We just wanted to have a little chat.”

She did as she was told, sitting on the soft pillows rigidly. She was already beginning to fidget again.

George leaned back against the opposite sofa, looking relaxed, wrapping an arm around Martha’s waist. “We just wanted to discuss your medication and therapy sessions that you’ve been having so we know what to do and what to expect, is that alright?” he asked.

Alex nodded.

“Alright, so…” Martha shuffled few some papers. “It says here you are being medicated for ADHD, right?”

“That’s right.”

“We got told by your social worker that you are able to sort your own medication out, but you sometimes need prompting about it.”

Alex flushed. “Yeah, I’m a bit forgetful about it sometimes.”

“That’s okay!” Martha reassured. “We can remind you about it and get you the prescriptions for you, like Manuela would. We keep our medications in a cupboard in the kitchen. We have a few bathrooms, so it made more sense to keep them in the kitchen so that everyone has access to them. If we keep the meds in there and then we can remind you at breakfast to take it, would that be a good routine?”

Again, she nodded. It was much more than what Manuela did. Not that she was a bad social worker or anything, but she really didn’t have the time to be checking up on Alex taking her meds properly. Sometimes, Alex would forget and just couldn’t concentrate at all in school to the point that she would get herself into a fight (verbal or physical or sometimes both) and would get excluded for the day. Then Manuela would give her a look and simply ask, “Meds?” before sending her off to go and take them.

“We also need to talk about your therapy sessions. Unfortunately, because we are now quite far from Brooklyn, you won’t be seeing your usual therapist.”

That was fine. He was an asshole anyway.

“We’ve found you a good one nearby. Some good reviews. Her name is Nina Rosario and she specialises in helping people with anxiety disorders, like PTSD, so we thought she might be good for you. Naturally, if you aren’t finding her helpful, tell us and we’ll find someone else.”

“Alright.”

George gave her a look. “Is there anything else you wanted to ask us?”

“Do you have any rules?”

They looked surprised. “Well,” said George, after a moment. “I suppose the one thing we would like you to do is to be respectful of everyone that we welcome into our home. Naturally, if they do not respect us, we will ask them to leave, but you shouldn’t behave as they do. Okay?”

“Yes, sir.’

“You don’t have to call me sir, though,” George laughed, even though Alex wasn’t really sure why he was laughing. “George is fine.”

“Okay.” A pause. “I don't think I told you earlier, but thank you for giving me a chance.”

They smiled, the same welcoming one from before when Alex said she wanted to be fostered. “It’s our pleasure, Alex,” George said. “Now, I do believe you are due for a tour of the house. You still up for that? Lafayette has been looking forward to this for a while.”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, I am going to be releasing the genderbent names as the story progresses, so you will just have to wait and find out what the Schuylers are going to be called and the rest of the Hamilton characters XD Hopefully, you guys will like them XD  
> Next week, we shall have a longer chapter. See you on the 25th April!  
> ~Leo


	5. The Tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY!
> 
> We have a new chapter, as promised. This schedule is going good :)
> 
> Trigger Warning: Alex has another panic attack and there is discussion of death and illness. Also, there is discussion about Lafayette's gender identity. IDK if any of you actually have issues with these, but you know... Better safe than sorry.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Lafayette had just finished putting the last few plates in the dishwasher when Alex shuffled into the kitchen.

"Um, are you ready to give me a tour?" she asked.

"Bien sûr!" They washed their hands quickly. "Let us start on the first floor." They brought Alex to the entrance hall. "I planned the tour a couple of months ago. This is the entrance hall. The main stairs take you up to the bedrooms, bathrooms, a library, the studies. To our right, we have the dining room and kitchen, along with the utility room, which has a staircase which leads to a wine cellar which we've been using to store random stuff we don't use much, as well as some nice wines. To the left, we have two living spaces, one of which is more of the extended library that we go to if we want peace and quiet. We also have the mess room, which is the room I usually use when I have lots of friends over for the afternoon and there is another staircase, which takes you down to the games room. Which way do you want to go first?"

"Umm… Left?"

"D'accord!" They grabbed Alex's hand, who miraculously barely noticed, and led her to the first living room, turning on the lights. "Here is the main living room. We don't use it much unless we have guests over, so it stays pretty tidy for the most part."

Alex looked around. The carpeted floor was soft, a contrast to the hard wood of the entrance hall, dining room and kitchen. The curtains were drawn and the room had a different scent in comparison to the rest of the house, although she wasn't really sure why.

"Does it smell odd?" She eventually asked.

"Oui. It smells like it hasn't been lived in. I don't think anyone has been in here since the New Year party the Washingtons held. Like I said, it doesn't get used much. Some of the bedrooms smell a bit like this too because they barely get used."

"Oh."

Lafayette closed the door again and led her through the second living room, a lot smaller with more books. "Before you ask, Martha inherited the house after her first husband died, which is why it is so big. I don't think we would be living in a house this large if it weren't for that. I think they would like to buy a smaller house some day because this sort of house is difficult to maintain, but hardly anyone is interested in buying at the moment."

Lafayette rushed through the other rooms; the kitchen, which was next door to the dining room, had a breakfast table. There were two different ways to get the back yard, through the utility room and through the conservatory, both rooms freezing cold. Alex shivered.

"The conservatory is really nice to sit in during the summer, but it does not get used much in the winter."

"I can't think why," Alex mumbled under her breath.

The upstairs wasn't too difficult to figure out. Laf let her poke her face around to see what Martha and George's room looked like.

Laf lead her back down the other corridor, pausing at the first door that they had previously said was their room. "Enfin!" they announced and flung the door open.

If there was one word that could be used to describe Lafayette's bedroom, Alex would have simply said, "French." Laf obviously loved France. It wasn't a big surprise really; their speech integrated French into English, they still had a prominent accent, suggesting that they regularly visited the country.

The room was painted a bright white and everywhere were posters of French tourist attractions, like the Eiffel Tower, the Notre Dame, the Arc de Triomphe, all carefully framed and hung artfully around the room. Just like in her room, there were paintings signed with delicate cursive, spelling out Lafayette. These were mostly on canvas, but the occasional drawing was similarly printed and framed like the posters. The bedspread was brightly coloured with blue, red and white.

"They are the colours of France and America, so it makes sense, no?" Lafayette explained.

"Fair enough. I like it."

Laf gestured for her to sit on the bed. "Come, let us get to know each other better. I know a bit more about you, but I haven't really told you much about me."

Alex, secretly relieved that Laf wasn't going to press her for more information about her past, and interested to know a bit more about the friendly teen, settled down on the bed. Lafayette slumped back onto the pillow mountain at the foot of her bed and threw her some to lean against. Alex immediately found herself glancing round the room, distracted by the paintings and posters. She cursed internally; it had been a while since her last dose of medication and there really was no point to take any for the evening. She played with the edge of her shirt and tried to focus on Laf.

"I was born in France to a fairly wealthy family," they began, "Although I don't remember them very well, I do know that my parents loved me and cared for me. Anyway, they died in a car accident when I was seven and whilst my grand-mère would have loved to have raised me was just too old to manage that. She arranged to have me adopted by another… how you say… affluent family. She was desperate to get me the best opportunities in life that she could and she thought that if I was adopted by an American family, they would be able to get me into some of the world's best universities when I reached the age. She also wanted the couple to be about the same age as my parents had been. Naturally, finding such a family was no easy feat. It wasn't until the Washington's visited France a year later that she managed to invite them over and somehow convince them to adopt me."

"How did she manage that? Inviting them over?"

"They had come over for some political event that somehow she had managed to get herself invited to, probably in order to find the perfect family for me. Anyway, she met them and invited them to meet me when Martha had mentioned in passing that they fostered children, but were looking to adopt. They were quite taken by the eight year old me; une petite fille who would speak rapid français, hesitant anglais and refused to wear pinks or blues because they didn't want to be thought of as a boy or a girl. Grand-mère didn't know anything about being non-binary when I was little, which was the only reason I kept my female pronouns. I like to think if she had known, she would have told me and supported me. Anyway…" Lafayette had this faraway look on their face. It was the expression people who wear when they talked about memories; Alex remembered seeing the exact same expression on her mamá's face when she would tell her stories about her childhood. "I moved here. I would go back to see my grand-mère every summer until she died. Wonderful human being, but it was her time. She was quite old then. It was just before I finally decided to explain to the Washington's that I didn't want to be referred to as a girl anymore. I was only just beginning to open up to my friends about it. Some of them were supportive, some of them weren't. Johnna and Hera— oh, Hera Mulligan is my girlfriend— they were the ones that went from referring to me with she-her pronouns to they-them as if it was the most natural thing in the world. They are truly wonderful women. You'll get on very well with them, I know that for sure."

Alex could hardly believe how open Lafayette was being. They had told her things that Alex would have struggled to even think about. There was an ache in her chest; she wanted to be that open with people, yet here she was, the only thing she had mentioned was where she had come from and that her mother had died, and that had taken up all her strength, to remind herself of that dreadful month of sickness and…

...

_The room stank. It was too hot, too cold, too clammy._

_Alex squirmed, unable to get comfortable, tears of exhaustion and pain soaking into her already damp bedclothes. She was barely able to see through her hazy vision, a blurred face looking down at her._

_"Shh, baby, it's going to be okay."_

_The gentle tones of her mother soothed her, but Alex couldn't stop crying. She could feel her throat becoming more and more dehydrated and yet she was soaking wet._

_"Mamá, it hurts."_

_"I know, I know…"_

_..._

"Alex, are you okay?"

Alex struggled to breath, still running over the terrible memories.

"Hey, Alex! Compte! Un, duex, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf. Neuf, huit, sept, six, cinq, quatre, trois, duex, un. Bien, encore! Un, duex…" They carried on like that until Alex finally managed to gain control of her breathing again. "Ça va bien?" they asked her as she began to unfurl from the cocoon she had made herself into, arms wrapped tightly around her legs. "Was it something I said?"

It took a moment for Alex to figure out her reply. "It's just… You are so comfortable with telling me that your parents died and that your grand-mère died and that coming out about your gender identity lost you friends and… I wish I could be that open, and I'm just not."

Lafayette's face turned from worried to upset. "Ma sœur!" they cried.

Alex's felt the worry well up again inside her. "I didn't mean to make you upset, I'm sorry!"

"Non, it is not your fault," they said. "Just because I am comfortable to talk about my past freely doesn't mean you have to reciprocate that. Not now, not ever if you don't want to. Okay?"

"But—"

"Okay?"

"Okay…"

Lafayette leant away again. "Look," they said. "It didn't use to be easy to talk about my past either. It took time to accept that I would never see my parents again. Grand-mère didn't really explain what happened properly until I confronted her about why I hadn't seen my parents six months after the accident. Only then did I find out that they were gone. When the Washingtons first took me over to America, I was up with nightmares nearly every night. They helped me through it, managed to help me get settled into a new school, and when I told them that I wasn't a girl, whilst they initially didn't really understand, they listened to what I had to say, did their own research and didn't question it at all. It didn't really matter for them, as long as I was happy. And, most importantly, they let me heal in my own time whenever things went wrong, and they'll do the same for you. Don't you doubt it."

Alex was in tears at this point. "I'm sorry."

"There is nothing for you to be sorry about. How about we get some sleep? Tomorrow, we can meet mes amies, si tu veux."

"That might be nice."

"Bien. Bonne nuit, ma sœur. Sleep well."

"Good night, Lafayette."

* * *

Once again, Alex spent another sleepless night writing for her blogs.

She wasn't sure exactly when she would get access to a computer to be able to update them; she desperately wanted to get her new story about her transition into the Washingtons household out to the world, as well as respond to the comments that were no doubt filling up her private messaging and her email. She hadn't been able to go online for almost a week.

She would ask the Washingtons or Lafayette about borrowing a computer for a few hours tomorrow. For the moment, she scribbled away in her notebook, drafting essays, ideas, everything that popped into her head onto paper so she wouldn't forget.

it was three thirty in the morning before she finally fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOHH! I quite like this chapter, even if it is a bit dialogue centric, but there is character development!
> 
> Yes, Hera Mulligan is Hercules Mulligan's genderbent name! AYYyyyyy! This was the hardest character to find a name for and it kinda needed to still be Greek themed, so here we are XD
> 
> And yes, Lafayette didn't use to be the confident individual that they are now. The Washingtons are babes and Alex needs some help... and some medication for her insomnia...
> 
> If you guys want any translations, ask or search it up... It's not too difficult to use Google XD Also, I tend not to put important dialogue in French, so usually it's just "are you okay" or "sure" or something along those lines....
> 
> Please comment, give kudos, subscribe and/or bookmark if you like the story! They are all appreciated!! See you next week on the 2nd May for the next chapter :)
> 
> ~Leo


	6. Coffee and Croissants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Here with another chapter!  
> Trigger Warnings- Underage drinking mention and alcohol mention. If anyone has any other triggers that I haven't been tagging, please tell me and I can fix that :)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!  
> ~Leo

Lafayette was grateful that today was a Sunday. They leapt out of bed a full two hours earlier than they usually did and got themselves ready for the day, taming their hair into a ponytail and changing into one of their favourite outfits— a pair of denim overalls and a red and black checked flannel shirt with a pair of light brown leather shoes that had taken far too long to wear in. They applied a little bit of tinted lip moisturiser and left their room to go knock on Alex's door.

They heard a thump, a curse and then Alex was pulling open the door, looking tired and bedraggled.

"Oh, I am sorry, mon amie, I didn't mean to wake you up!"

"No, I was awake, I was just… writing…"

"You look… très fatigué. Are you sure you don't need more sleep?"

"No, I'm fine, I got a few hours." Alex yawned and stretched her arms sleepily. "You don't happen to have any coffee?"

"Um, I think so, although none of us really drink it. We only make it when there are guests."

"Oh, I don't have to have any if that is a problem."

"No, the Washingtons won't mind at all, you just need to ask them to buy it more regularly, that is all."

"Right."

Laf waited as Alex disappeared back inside her room to change. They frowned as Alex emerged wearing the same battered clothes she had been wearing yesterday. Her jeans were torn at the knees, the plain hoodie was several sizes too big for her and her socks were worn out at the toes and the heels.

"Do you want to borrow a pair of socks?" they offered. "Or you could wear my slippers. The downstairs isn't carpeted, so it can be a bit cold until the underfloor heating kicks in."

Alex flushed red. "I should be fine," she said.

"Honestly, it is no problem. We should probably go out and get you some new clothes later today, if you are up for it." Lafayette went back to their room, Alex following close on their heels, protesting.

"Um, you really don't have to."

They rooted through their dresser and pulled out some stripy green socks. "I'm sure the Washingtons have planned to get you some things for you today anyway. At least, they would do this for their previous foster children and even though it has been a while, I would expect they would do the same for you." Lafayette tossed the socks across the room. Alex fumbled and somehow caught them, despite her dreadful hand-eye coordination.

"Oh. Well…"

"Come on, ma sœur. It is time for le petit déjeuner."

* * *

Alex hadn't been expecting more than just a small cup of coffee; yesterday's stew was still filling her up, yet Lafayette was pulling out croissants from the cupboard and placing them neatly on an oven tray to be heated up.

"I am assuming you like croissants."

"I don't know. I've never been able to try one."

Lafayette gasped. "You must try one! They are not the best because they have not been freshly baked, but they are still wonderful."

"Sure." Hopefully, she would be able to manage one without having to leave it half-finished, but her eating habits were not the best.

"If you want to make yourself some coffee, the machine is in that cupboard there and there should be some pods in a packet next to it." Lafayette pointed to the cupboard next to her. She opened it and pulled out the machine, plugging it in, then pulled out a small plastic container from the packet. She frowned; the care home had only had instant coffee that she would pour warm water over and mix with plenty of sugar and milk. She hadn't been expecting a strange contraption like this one.

"Um, how does it work?"

"Hmm? Oh, right. Just a moment." They put the croissants into the oven and darted across the kitchen to fiddle with the machine. "You pour water into here…" They opened a lid at the back of the machine. "There should be enough to fill a cup and no more." They poured the water in. "Then, put the pod in here and a cup here." The pod was pushed into a hole in the top and then Laf grabbed a mug from the cupboard and placed it under the spout. "Then you turn it on and wait for a moment as it makes your coffee."

Alex watched in fascination as the coffee poured into the cup, quickly filling up and then a white froth was produced. It looked exactly like the coffee she had seen advertised, yet she had never had the opportunity to try one. As soon as it finished, she picked up the mug and brought the frothy drink to the breakfast table.

"You need to get rid of the pod from the machine, but you can leave the machine out if you want to have coffee on a regular basis."

"Right." She pulled the pod out and chucked it away. "Do you have any sugar?"

"Sure, the pot on the table. Teaspoons are in the first drawer to your left."

Sugar cubes. Of course. Alex put two in and stirred, the froth sticking to the middle of her spoon.

Finally, she took a sip.

"Oh my god, this is amazing," she couldn't help but blurt out.

Lafayette laughed. "I'm glad you like it!"

Alex finished the coffee long before the croissants were ready; by the time Lafayette had brought them out, Alex was desperate to go back upstairs and do some more writing.

Lafayette placed a croissant in front of her before sitting down to tuck into two croissants and a tall glass of chocolate milk. Alex bit into the flaky pastry, pieces sticking to her fingers. It had a warm, buttery taste, a little on the rich side, but she would be able to manage it if she took her time eating it.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Umm… I know you've only just arrived and all, but I was wondering if you would like to go to a party tonight and meet my friends?"

Alex looked up from nibbling at her croissant. "But it's a school night!"

"Well, not for you. The Washingtons still need to register you."

"But what about you?"

"Oh, Hera, John and I do this all the time. The Washingtons won't mind at all."

Alex felt hesitant. She wasn't the sort of person who was into parties, at least, she didn't think so. It all sounded much too stressful. "What sort of party?"

"The usual. People turn up, there is alcohol, you can dance, and we can leave whenever."

"Who's house?"

"Couple of roads away, some kid from school. Hera knows some friends who are friends with the host, it won't be a problem at all."

"Wouldn't you rather go alone and spend some time with your friends? I can stay here if you want?"

She saw that she had upset them again. "Non! I want you to meet my friends! They are wonderful people. Hera Mulligan is my girlfriend and before that we were good friends. We sat next to each other in English and she used to check my work when I was still uncertain about my grammar and phrasing. She is probably the most friendly person I have ever known. I met Johnna Laurens in art class. We had to draw each other's portraits one lesson and we just kept talking. Lovely, gentle person, unless she is your enemy, and then she is a raging psycho."

"What if she hates me?"

"Trust me, you are not the sort of person that John hates. So, would you like to go?"

"Maybe for an hour or so, but not much longer."

"That sounds fine to me. I don't think we were planning on staying for too long, we just like to take advantage of the free alcohol."

"I thought you were sixteen."

"The stupid law. It makes no sense." Lafayette looked annoyed. "All it does is encourage people to be stupid when they turn twenty-one. They end up binge drinking and then ending up in the ER getting their stomach pumped because no one told them how to be sensible with alcohol. In France, whilst you are not allowed to buy alcohol until you are eighteen, there is nothing preventing you from drinking, but it means that you don't get eighteen year olds getting ridiculously drunk on their birthdays, drinking because they can. People just need to respect alcohol, savour the taste."

"I'm assuming that the Washingtons are pretty chill with this then."

"They don't mind as long as none of us ends up in the ER because we drank too much, that is all."

"Fair enough."

* * *

The Washingtons got up half an hour later and took the two of them shopping for Alex. Despite protesting that she would be fine, they ended up buying an entire wardrobe of clothing for Alex, a mix of jeans, leggings, a few skirts (though not many), several vest tops, T-shirts, sweaters and hoodies and two smart outfits.

"That should keep you going for the time being," Martha said. Alex disagreed; it would keep her going for the rest of her life. She had been managing fine with two outfits since she was first put in the system two years ago. She said nothing though, letting Martha shoo her, Lafayette and George away as she went to pay. "Go find her a nice phone and a laptop," she told them.

The nearest tech store was a few shops down from the clothing store they had just been in. It was fairly large, full of things that she had only ever seen on adverts.

"Don't get an iPhone. They overheat way too easily." Lafayette pulled her over to the newest android phones. "We can get you an SD card as well, so you don't run out of storage space too quickly."

George, who had gone to the laptops, came back with an Acer just as Alex had finally gone with a Samsung Galaxy, as per Lafayette's suggestion. Martha entered the shop just as they finished paying.

"Alright, Alex, is there a particular brand of toiletries you prefer, by any chance?"

Alex shrugged. "The shampoo that the home would get always made me feel itchy."

"Mhm, you probably have sensitive skin. I can get you something that is gentle and some other bathroom basics. George, could you take the bags out to the car. Laf, dear, why don't you show Alex the bookshop, get her some stationary and notepads for school so she is ready to go as soon as we register her."

"Sure!" Lafayette had a habit of grabbing hold of her hand and dragging her places. Alex didn't exactly mind, but she was still getting used to it. As they walked, Lafayette pointed out a shoe store. "We should probably get you some more comfortable shoes, the ones you have on look a little on the small side."

"They're fine."

They weren't. Alex had been feeling the pinch in her shoes for a few months now and if she walked too much in them they would rub blisters. Even so, she wasn't about to ask for a new pair; the Washingtons had bought her enough.

Lafayette wasn't having it though. "We'll go after we've got some stationary. I'll text Martha about it."

She tried to protest again, but Laf was already typing away on their phone.

Fortunately, the bookstore had their entire stationary department on offer, making Alex feel somewhat better when they left the shop laden with two bags full of notebooks, packs of pens and mechanical pencils, better than any of the stuff in her pencil case on her side table in her room. She managed to stop Lafayette from buying another pencil case, but let the teen buy her an extra notebook. "I saw a few on your table in your room and figured you probably like to write, or draw," they said.

They met Martha and George at the shoe shop and didn't leave until Alex had chosen a pair of sneakers and a smarter pair of shoes for more formal situations, like parties. Alex, by this point, was feeling thoroughly overwhelmed. The moment she saw Lafayette eyeing another store, the pure exhaustion evident on her face was quickly noticed by George, who intervened.

"Let's go home now, we have got enough for the moment. Alex, how about after lunch, Martha can show you how to sort out your laptop and phone? She is much better with technology than I can ever hope to be."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief, throwing George a grateful look. "That would be great. Thanks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit boring, but we kinda needed the compulsory shopping expedition with a reluctant Alex. I mostly just wanted to show the difference between Laf and Alex's lives so far.
> 
> Next week, we shall have chapter seven. A very good chapter :)
> 
> SPOILER ALERT.....  
> .....  
> ...............  
> ..........  
> .....  
> ...we meet the squad :)


	7. The Party

Martha had the laptop set up within half an hour, showing Alex how to connect to the WiFi before moving on to setting up her phone. Alex quickly set up her google account and immediately brought up her blogs and email, tilting the screen slightly so that Martha couldn't see. She had hundreds of comments which she now had to trawl through. She would only respond if the person was asking about something personal or was inappropriate to respond, otherwise the questions would be answered and explored in her next post. She pulled up a word document and started typing out points that she could work into the last essay draft she wrote in her notebook.

She had just started to organise the emails into the appropriate folders when Martha passed the phone to her. "All it needs is your google account to be set up on that and then you should be good to go," she said. "I've installed your SIM card and an SD card for extra storage, so put apps and music you download onto the SD. If you need help with that, just tell me. Your phone number is in your contacts, so you can give it to anyone you like."

"Thanks, Martha."

"You're welcome, sweetie."

* * *

Lafayette knocked at the bedroom door at 6:30pm and poked their face around the door. Alex had been sat typing at the computer for four hours, her eyes tired as she blinked blearily at the kid, who was holding a pink dress by the hanger.

"Are you still up for meeting my friends tonight?"

They seemed so calm in comparison to before. "Um, sure. I'd like to meet them."

"I was wondering if you would like to wear this. My girlfriend made it for me and it is meant to be a spring dress. It might be a little on the cold side, but you could wear it with the grey leggings we got you and the nice shoes. And I am pretty sure we bought you a grey wrap-around that will work nicely." They started rummaging through the clothes bags. "How about it?"

"But it's your dress."

"I have another I can wear that fits me better. That one is a little on the tight side. I grew a lot in the past few years since I got it. If you want, you can have it. I'm sure my girlfriend would be happy to refit it for you."

"It's okay, don't worry about it."

"Alright, but if you like it, tell me and I can get her to fix it for you."

* * *

The party had alcohol, as all good parties did. Johnna didn't really know the host, but Mulligan assured her that they were chill with anyone turning up and unless the noise levels rocketed, they weren't going to get into any trouble.

Hera was perched up on a stool in the kitchen, John leaning up against the island, the two of them sporting ciders.

"Do you know when Laf is arriving?"

Hera shrugged. "Don't know. Apparently, they are bringing their new foster sister, who is a bit nervous around people. Maybe they've had to take a moment."

But John had stopped paying attention. A girl had wandered in through the door, wearing a familiar rose coloured dress, her straight black hair pulled into a small bun at the nape of her neck.

"Oh my god, who is that?" she couldn't help but blurt out, thankful for the loud music for once.

"Hm?" Hera followed her gaze. "Oh, that must be Lafayette's foster sister. I made that dress for Laf."

John couldn't stop gaping. "She is fucking gorgeous. Jeez, stop me from staring at her, please Mulligan," she begged. "It's gonna get ridiculous."

"Nah." Mulligan was smirking. "You need to get laid tonight anyway. Go ask her out or something. Get her a drink."

"But, it's Laf's sister!"

"And?"

She threw her an exasperated look as Lafayette followed the girl through the door, linking arms with her and leading her over. John noticed the girl turn to look at the two of them with wide eyes, looking agitated.

"Hey!" Lafayette grinned, widening as Hera pulled them into a hug. "My love. John. How are you two?"

"You saw me yesterday," Hera laughed.

They shrugged. "Didn't see Laurens. How are you, Laurens?"

John nodded, struggling to speak under the small girl's intense stare. "I'm good."

Laf nodded, turning to present their new sister officially. "Guys, this is my new foster sister. Martha and George brought her home yesterday. You want to introduce yourself?" they asked.

She took a small step back, a hesitant look to Laf before sticking her hand out towards John and Hera. "My name is Alexandra Hamilton, but you can call me Alex, otherwise I sound like a pretentious asshole."

_Alex._ John was still too awestruck by her to say anything.

Fortunately, Hera was there to save her from embarrassment, barking a cheerful and contagious laugh. "Hera Mulligan," she said, shaking Alex's hand firmly. "I'm Laf's girlfriend. You can call me Hera or Mulligan, I don't mind."

Alex nodded solemnly.

John finally managed to get her emotions in check, taking a step forwards as Hera stepped back and wrapped her arms around Laf. "I'm Johnna Laurens, but most people call me John or Laurens." They shook hands, a small shiver of _something_ shooting up her arm as she did so.

"Nice to meet you," Alex said quietly, a small smile suddenly appearing from nowhere. She tensed slightly as Lafayette wandered over to the dance floor with Hera, leaving her with John.

John tried not to take it personally. "Can I get you a drink?"

"What, are you twenty-one?"

John laughed. "God no! But, it's a private party and I bet you everyone here has a fake ID anyway. Out of the three of us, Hera gets away with it best, so we get her to buy most of the time. But, you know." She gave Alex a smile and pointed at the array of alcohol on the counter. "Want something? I can mix you something easy."

"Vodka and lemonade? Although more lemonade than vodka, I'm not supposed to have much alcohol."

"Sure."

* * *

Alex wished she could stop staring at John. She was so unbelievably beautiful, hair half up with the rest lying in curls around her shoulders. Freckles were splattered on every inch of skin that was bared, her cheeks, shoulders and across her back. The dress complimented all her features perfectly; a grassy green spring dress, sleeveless and backless, held up by the golden hoop clasped around her neck. She was the most beautiful creature she had ever had the fortune to set eyes on.

"Here." John had turned round again, holding out a glass. "Your lemonade."

"Thank you." She took a sip, the alcohol giving a nice kick to the drink. They turned to look for Lafayette and Mulligan, finding the pair out on the dance floor, their dresses twirling as the pair lost themselves in each other.

"Hera makes some amazing outfits."

"Hm?"

"The dresses. Hera made them."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! She made this too." Laurens gestured to her dress. "And the one you are wearing."

"Yours is certainly flattering. Mine probably looks much better on Lafayette."

"You look great!" John smiled. "Mulligan always makes us something for our birthdays and Christmas. The one is my favourite for summer parties, but I like it so much that I wear it in February. Hera has made so much stuff for me and Laf. There is a bunch of outfits that I usually wear to protests."

_Protests?_ Alex raised a brow, intrigued. "What protests?"

"Oh, like BLM, LGBT+, Women's marches, you know."

_Oh shit, she was falling hard._

"I've got a couple of blogs where I write about loads of different political movements." She tried to sound nonchalant.

"Wait. What's your pen name?"

"Uh, Trilingual Queen, or Xandra."

"Shit! No way!"

"What?"

"I've read all your blogs! Every single one!"

"You like them?"

John's face had lit up like the rising sun. "I love them! Oh my shit, for real? They are so inspiring and motivating and hilarious. You've completely trashed so many political figures and celebs for their racist and misogynistic views and I wish I could quote you whenever I have to shut down some moron at school."

Alex frowned. "But, I've never been to any protests."

"That doesn't matter! You probably couldn't if you were at a care home. Actually," John placed a hand on her knee and she nearly fell off the stool in shock, "I'm going to a Pride march next weekend. Saturday. Want to come with? I think Laf and Hera will come too, plus the Schuylers are definitely going."

"Schuylers?"

"The Schuyler Siblings. They're friends of ours. Angelo, Elijah and Pegs."

"I'm assuming they are all part of the LGBT+ community."

"Yeah. I'm glad I have them all. I don't think I would be anywhere near as comfortable with my sexuality if I hadn't. My father isn't exactly supportive."

"You are…?"

"Gay. Very gay."

"Right. I'm bisexual, although I've never dated anyone."

"That doesn't mean anything," she said. "I haven't dated anyone either. My father isn't exactly supportive of anything I advocate. It's bad enough that he wanted me to be a boy. First born and everything. Didn't even bother to really change my name drastically from the one he initially chose. He would definitely disown me if I came out to him. So, I'm keeping quiet about any relationships until I've finished college."

"But, that is years away."

She shrugged. "I've managed so far. Anyways, Angelo is a social activist and loves going on marches and organising them. It helps that his father is Phillip Schuyler. Makes for some pretty good connections."

"I hope I get to meet them."

"Trust me, you will soon enough. Angelo has probably been made aware of your arrival and is organising with Laf when to meet up."

"Oh"

"Lafayette hasn't been able to shut up their new foster sibling ever since the Washingtons told them a few months back. We've all been looking forward to meeting you for a while now."

"Wait, how long?"

"Since Christmas. They took their time with you."

Suddenly, John's face was obscured by a mass of curls and she almost toppled out of her seat as something leapt on her back. Alex gave a shriek and Laurens swore.

"Fuck, Laf! You can't just jump on people like that!"

"Sorry!" They didn't sound at all sorry. "I was just wondering if you are staying over tonight? Hera's gonna crash seeing as she has nowhere important to be tomorrow. You can sleep in Alex's room or a spare room."

Alex watched as John raised a delicate eyebrow, a suggestive smirk on her face. "What, planning on doing the nasty?"

"Oi, shut up, Laurens!" Hera's mellow sounding voice sounded indignant, coming from somewhere behind Alex.

Laf ignored their girlfriend and grinned back. "Caught on fast, didn't you."

"Ew! Why am I always third wheeling you guys, it is getting ridiculous."

"Quit whining, you have Alex now. She'll keep you company tonight."

Alex couldn't quite believe eyebrows could wiggle this much. She flushed slightly at the implications of what Laf said, but tried not to take it to heart. John was not in the position to do anything with another girl, not when she was at risk of being disowned, even if there was a chance that she liked Alex.


	8. Staying Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops.
> 
> Sorry, this is a bit of a shitty chapter. If you guys hadn't noticed, I've had a ridiculous writer's block. I finally managed to finish this chapter. The first half has been finished for some time, but I couldn't figure out how to move it along. It should pick up pace now.
> 
> Please don't get your hopes up.
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely comments!

It didn't take long for the four of them to walk back to Vernon House and it wasn't so late that the Washingtons were still awake. George let them in, smiling at Lafayette, who was still talking animatedly. Hera kept nudging them, telling them to calm down, but it wasn't until they had bid goodnight to Martha and George and crammed themselves into Lafayette's room that the teen began to quieten down.

"Did I mention how much I love dancing with you?" they whispered to Hera, who grinned back.

"You did, cutie pie."

"Sickening, aren't they," John muttered to Alex as the two of them settled down on the bed next to the cuddling Laf and Hera. "Knock it off, you guys. You have all night to be cute and sappy."

"That's true, but Hera here is simply irresistible."

"Okay, that's gross. Alex, let's go to your room so these two can be sappy in private."

"Not a romantic I guess," Alex said, laughing, wriggling off the bed with as much grace as a walrus on land. She gave a yelp as she misjudged the distance she was from the edge of the bed and fell onto the floor with a thump.

"Woah, Alex, you good?" John's anxious tone was muffled slightly by the blue duvet.

"Just… fine…"

John's face poked over the edge of the bed. "You sure you good? Lemme help you up." She got off the bed sensibly, managing to avoid stepping on Alex, who was still somewhat winded. She held out a soft hand, smiling her gorgeous smile. Alex flushed and had to look away, but accepted the help up.

"I'm fine," she said when she saw Laf and Hera's concerned looks. "Honestly, don't worry. Come on, John." She led her out, waving at the two still cuddled on the bed.

"I like your room," John said after Alex showed her in.

"I like it too. Sorry about the mess though." She waved vaguely at the shopping bags still littering the floor. "I didn't get round to sort out the stuff the Washingtons bought for me."

"You want some help?"

"No, I'm fine." She grabbed the bags, dragging them over to the wardrobe and placing them at the bottom next to her rucksack. "I'll sort it out later."

Johnna nodded. "Are you chill with me staying the night here, or do you want me to go to a spare room?"

Alex froze. "What do you normally do?" she asked, managing to hide the panic in her voice, putting on a neutral expression.

"Camp out on Lafayette's floor. Hera and Laf aren't normally as clingy as they were being today. I think they are taking advantage of the fact that you are here to keep me company. But, if you want some space, I'm cool with sleeping the spare room next door. I don't mind."

"No, it's okay, as long as you are happy sleeping on the floor."

"I'll go get some pillows then," she said with a smile.

Alex wasn't really sure what to do; she hadn't shared a room with anyone for years, not since they had to move her to a solitary room because her nightmares would disturb everyone else. What if John got woken up in the middle of the night to her screaming? She had only spent one night at the Washingtons and the only reason she hadn't had nightmares was because she exhausted herself to the point that she couldn't dream. She could take a sleeping pill, but even then she would still get nightmares and would wake up even more disorientated because of the drug in her system.

John shuffled back into the room with an armful of pillows, a duvet being dragged behind her. "Alright, you good?"

"Yeah. M'fine."

"Cool. I'm gonna probably go to sleep quickly otherwise I'll never get up for school tomorrow."

"That's fine." Alex gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll probably write for a bit." She watched as John got herself settled in the pile of blankets and pillows. "Night."

"Night."

* * *

Alex glanced up from the glare of her laptop. She had finally finished updating her blogs and she began to shut her computer down and settle down to sleep. As it shut off, the light finally blinking off, she noticed that there was a pale glow beginning to illuminate the curtains. She slid out of bed and peeked through her curtains.

It was almost dawn.

_Shit._

She had been up all night and she hadn't even realized it. She picked up her phone to check the time. It was nearing half six.

_Shit. Crap. Stupid girl._

She hadn't meant to lose track of time like that. She glanced over at Johnna, who was still dead to the world. The others would start to get up soon, to get ready for school or work. There would be no point in falling asleep now. She didn't even really feel tired.

She moved away from the window and pulled out some clothes to wear for the day. She pulled on a plain t-shirt and jeans, before slipping out of the room and down the stairs.

George was already awake, moving around the kitchen to sort out breakfast. Alex hesitated at the door, not wanting to disturb, but before she could quietly move back upstairs, George noticed her.

"Alex! Would you like some breakfast?"

"Um. I can make myself a coffee. I'm not usually hungry at this time of day."

He nodded. "That's fine. I'll buy some more coffee pods today. Do you have a preference?"

"What you have at the moment is great."

"Okay." George poured his tea and sat down at the breakfast table. After a moment of tranquility, he said, "I'm going to sign you up to go to Lafayette's school if that's okay with you."

Alex chucked the used coffee pod into the bin and sat opposite the man. "Sure," she said, noncommittally.

"It's a nice school, quite close by. Laf's friends go there too."

"When would I start?"

"As soon as they let you. Probably mid-week though."

"Okay."

"We can go in today with the others and get you sorted out if you are feeling up for it. I know it has probably been an overwhelming few days."

"No, it's okay," Alex was quick to reassure. "I kind of need a bit of routine."

"I agree. Which reminds me, have you taken your meds?"

"Crap, no. Thanks for reminding me."

"No problem."

Not two minutes after having taken the pills did Laurens wander in. Her long curls were pulled into a low ponytail, clearly for convenience, but were evidently unbrushed. Alex, relieved that she had sorted out her meds before the other girl came in, gave her a smile. "You okay?"

"I'm good. Tired though. What about you."

Alex shrugged, hoping that the dark circles under her eyes weren't any more prominent than they were last night. "Alright."

"Would you like some breakfast, Johnna?" George asked, moving to get up.

"Sure, I can do it though. You can relax." John grinned, sleepily.

Alex sat back, content to watch as the others trickled into the kitchen, rounding off with Lafayette, who sauntered in looking gorgeous as if they hadn't just woken up. She suddenly felt quite self-conscious of her greasy hair that she had yet to wash. Glancing at the clock, she decided to have that shower she desperately needed.

"Alex, dress comfortably, it might take a while to get you registered."

"Okay."

* * *

They managed to leave the house with barely enough time to get the others to school. Alex sat awkwardly in the front seat, whilst the others sleepily chatted to each other in the back. Martha had a meeting in the afternoon, so she was taking advantage of the morning to make sure she was prepared for it. George sat in the driver's seat next to her, humming quietly along to the equally peaceful radio station.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, suddenly.

Alex looked over. "Alright. A bit nervous."

George nodded. "You'll be fine."

"Really."

"Sure you are."

"… Thanks…"

It was another five minutes before George was pulling up in front of the school.

"Alright, out you kids get. Have a good day."

"Thanks, mon pére!"

"Thank you, George. Bye Alex!"

"Thanks for dropping us, George, I'll message you later, Alex!" Laurens smiled brightly before shutting the rear passenger door with a slam.

Alex frowned. "She doesn't have my number."

As if on cue, her phone buzzed.

_8:23— *Laf gave me ur no. message me when u r free, John x*_

Alex grinned at the message before quickly typing back.

_8:24— *I will do. Talk to you later! From Alex :)*_

"Alex?"

She looked up. "Hm?"

"We need to go in to register you."

"Oh." She pocketed the phone and followed him out of the car.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I love your comments and kudos so please tell me if you like it, if you see any glaring mistakes or the like. Subscriptions and bookmarks are also very much appreciated!
> 
> Many thanks to everyone who have shown their support so far! I will update soon...
> 
> ...hopefully XD  
> ~Leo


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